What You Won’t Find on St. John
It’s only fair to warn you, St. John is not for everyone. Yes, we have world class beaches, dozens of hiking trails, fascinating historical landmarks and so much more. But it’s what you won’t find in our little slice of heaven that makes the difference.
If these things are on your vacation checklist, St. John isn’t for you:
1. Cookie-cutter accommodations
Goodbye Holiday Inn, hello vacation home! We proudly complicate your lodging choices with more than 50 villas ranging from a charming two-bedroom with floor-to-ceiling windows to a six-bedroom luxury retreat overlooking the famed North Shore.
2. High rises bustling with people
At the end of the ferry dock, turn right and bury your toes in the sand at one of our beachfront bars. Get the idea?
3. Heavy traffic
Rumor has it that the local government attempted to put a stoplight on St. John once and the locals tore it down. Your top speed will be somewhere around 30 mph, and that’s a good thing since you’re probably not used to driving on the left.
4. McDonalds, or any other chain establishment
If you have a Big Mac attack or expect to provision at Walmart, you’re out of luck. You’ll have to suffer through fresh, tasty meals and shop at boutique stores and galleries full of local, handmade treasures.
5. Predictability
You know, things like electricity, cell service and fully stocked shelves. It’s not uncommon to experience occasional but brief power outages, lose your cell signal (especially if you’re on the East End), and lack a few “necessities” at the grocery store.
6. Herding-style excursions
We have no cruise ship docks. With the rare exception of a small floating hotel mooring just outside Cruz Bay, hoards of people don’t descend upon our island looking to swim with the dolphins or other touristy attractions.
7. An uncomplicated, immediate arrival
You won’t be unpacking within an hour of stepping off the plane as the nearest airport is on St. Thomas. Although just a few miles away, you will need ground transportation to catch a ferry for a 15 minute ride to get here.
8. Park-like setting
Although our island is 60 percent National Park, it’s probably unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. You will live among hundreds of species of plants and animals, dodge donkeys on the roadway and be awakened by stray roosters.
We completely understand if this doesn’t sound like your style of vacation. However, if you’re ready for a one-of-a-kind vacation destination that embraces eccentricities, St. John will not disappoint. For it is precisely these quirky attributes that bring loyal travelers back again and again.
